From: a salty piece of land: one amazing book!

I experienced a bit of long-overdue silence, and what came to me was this: Life is, and always has been, a struggle. The fishing pole bends heavier for some than others, and nobody has yet to figure out why-just as you never know, when you make a cast, if what attacks your fly is a finger sized baby snapper or a tiger shark that can turn you into bait. Still, we struggle with the rod just the same. Life to me is like a fish on a line. When it is there, you feel it. You fight it. You gain line. You lose line. But if that line suddenly snaps, or the pole breaks, or a thousand other problems occur that fishermen use as excuses when the tension is gone, you feel it even more.
Jimmy buffet

Blessings

I spent a lot of time these past two weeks thinking about life here in the islands. Going home where friends and family and all things familiar can really make you wonder if you are where you're supposed to be.
But then I got off the plane.
I met robby and lyndsay, who were on island for the first time, didn't know where they could stay or where to start with their little vacation. I took them to the camp ground at Magens bay, told them the basics, and gave them my number in case they needed someone. I hadn't even re-hydrated and I was already knee deep in ministry.
Then I had one of the most amazing evenings with one of my friends here, and can only describe it as magical.
But it didn't end...today was a day of teaching and counseling and being there for some of the All Saints students.
I hadn't even been here 24 hours, and I saw god working through me constantly. It was a gift beyond gratitude.

-- note to self: regardless of what I think I want or should have, there is a plan bigger than me, if I only take the time to look for it: wether it comes in talking pillars of fire, or a ten minute conversation with a random person on the street.

When life catches up to you

This entry was written yesterday, my last on my spring break to WV

It's never an easy thing to see your parents aging. I'm sitting here in an emergency room, have been here for a couple hours while my dad lays on a bed and doctors can't seem to get their act together enough to figure out why he's in such pain. We thought it was kidney stones, something he's dealt with before, but it seems that is not the case.

So in moments like this, where your faith is tested and you scream out to God to please help this man find some peace and health...where the constant beeping and alarms of the emergency room remind you of your own mortality...it's moments like these that life jus seems to catch up to you with a ten ton weight and drops you in the drink for a bit.

-- note to self: never take for granted the life you have or the people you have in it. One minute they are the strongest, indestructable people in existence, and the next they might be leaning on you for support. Both roles are equally important.

Roots and wings

I'm writing this from the high school auditorium of the school I graduated from 13 years ago. It's strange...it's nostalgic...it's strange, haha.
I am a strong beleiver that a person cannot know where they're going until they accept where they're from. As I sit in the very place that helped me develop a love for music, a talent for art, and a need to meet and greet people constantly, I'm also reminded of how much I wanted to get out of this valley. That at the time, every thing in my life as focused on rising above my culture (as I saw it) and moving on to "bigger and better things."
But now, as I sit here, basking in the memories of musicals, madrigal dinners, choir concerts, football practices, and a near never-ending list of old thoughts, I have to wonder how many of us look at our home culture and environment with distaste instead of pride...something we need to conquer instead of steward...a place to leave behind instead of a place to invest in.


-- note to self: culture cannot truly be defined as better or worse...only different. Take who you are close to your heart and rejoice in it, and never judge where you come from by the standards of where you are right now...even if they're the same place!

Perspective

Each person on this planet have their own idea of what the pace should be. One persons gentle stroll is another's sprint. One person who can love completely by their perspective might seem closed off to another.
But the root of mission work, maybe even the root of all ministry and even love (I believe) is the ability to see the world through another person's perspective. There are no fancy techniques, there isn't a class you can take, and there is definately no chance that a lightning bolt fix will enable you to suddenly "get" someone else's point of view.
But the opportunity to place this tool firmly in your arsenal comes as simply as taking the chance to try using it. Sometimes, like I did as close as last night, you completely misread a person's perspective. Other times, you can nail it dead on and not only reach them "where they are," but discover that we really aren't that different. You see that different persoectives show you a universal truth: that we all have fear and pain that we each uniquely carry, and by humbling ourselves to someone else's perspective and life can we truly use Christ as a role model, and change our lives.

-- Rolling with the iPhone

What is love?

Is it the willingness to give up your creature comforts so another may live?
Is it the smile on my face every time you call or write?
Is it chemical? With the shortened breath and anxious stomach of the fairy tales?
Is it sacrificing your time and skills for another without a second thought?
Is it giving what knowledge and wisdom you have freely, so no one may ever be called ignorant?
Is it the thing that inspires music and art and dance?
Or the motivation to make yourself a better person simply because you want to be better for their sake?
Or never giving up hope, even when the bills stack up, you haven't slept in a week, and the kids are crying...keeping hope that together, you can get through everything?

What do you think it is?

-- Rolling with the iPhone

When balance beats you up

So today was this amazing day. Bob Marley and R Kelley in chapel, students passionately talking about changing their island and needing better role models, and some powerful spoken prayer time made for a literally spine tingling worship service.
But aferwards, I relearned a lesson about how God is one of balance. Balance has been a theme in my personal spiritual formation, knowing that for every action there is equal, opposite reaction. Karma is not an eastern philosophy to me, but a very prominent and sometimes ironic part of the Gospel message. But today it tried to grind me up.
I realized that I was getting in the way of the Spirit at chapel services...talking too much, worrying about the music and activities to the point that i was losing energy about the whole thing. Today, however, as I sat in the office this morning, I put my head down and gave up.
"you know, father, I'm doing this the wrong way."
"I know you are...but you do it so beautifully well!"
"thanks, but the thing today is that I don't even want you to tell me what to do. I want to get out of the way and let you do your cosmic thing. I'm at your complete disposal."
"well then meson, let's rock and roll"

And we did! It was amazing, miraculous in many ways. And completely grace-full that we were talking about redemption and being born again...huh.

But then came the "after conversation."
The only wrinkle-free shirt I had was a Steelers polo. (stop laughing friends, I CAN use an iron, I just...don't?) I was talking with a group of students outside and the conversation quickly turned into Steeler bashing. It was fun at first, me defending the blue collar boys, but I realized that i was really getting beat down by this conversation! I ended up just walking away, wondering why these young men and women were cranking on me and I was so up-ended over the thing.

Later two things dawned on me:
1. Dark and evil things don't like it when you give yourself up like we all did in church today, and will strike out when you least expect it.
2. It wasn't about the football team to me, it was about home. They were ripping on a symbol of my home, and I was clueless to prepare for it. (see number one?)

So, note to self:
When you let God in completely, things WILL go right, just not according to YOUR plan. But when you to that, don't hate the world when you suddenly find yourself backed into a corner and fighting for air. Because the closer we get to the light, the deeper our shadow becomes...